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Anybody seen my conch?

Thanks to “EarlG” at Democratic Underground for this one.

Why should the “birthers” and Oily Taintz have all the fun? Now you (yes, YOU!) can have a Kenyan birth certificate of your very own. Click here to download! Or open this image in an image-editing application and fill it out with one of those authentic-looking typewriter fonts. After you’re finished, print it out, then find the next Town Hall Meeting in your area and hoist it high as you scream “Here’s MY birth certificate!!” Cuz CHAOS RULES, y’all!

May the 4th be with you

Tommy inspired me to bring you this very merry Metal Moment. Brought to you by MANOWAR.

This is kind of in response to the earlier post about Sinterklaus~

Years ago while teaching kindergarten, I felt it important to present multi-cultural views to the children. So as the Holiday season came, We read books about Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and the like. There was an older lady named Karol, who was a volunteer at the hospital and she would come and talk to the children with her THICK Austrian accent. So I invited her to come talk to my class about Christmas in Austria. She told me something about St. Nikolaus and Krumpas (one of St. Nikolaus’ helpers) and it sounded very sweet. DID I MENTION SHE HAD A VERY THICK AUSTRIAN ACCENT?

SO she comes to talk with the class about Christmas in Austria and starts telling the story about St. Nikolaus and about Krumpas (or Krampusse) and how he carries a switch to make sure the children are being good and respectful to their parents. She shows a few old Austrian postcards with pictures of Krampusse and the silence in the room was deafening. Basically he looks like the devil. She goes on to say that St. Nikolaus keeps him in chains to show that he is in control, but if the children are naughty they can be taken away in a sack. (Geeze I hope I am remembering the story correctly!) She then brings out these small twigs or switches with ribbons that had pieces of candy tied to the little branches of the switch. She had one for each child and told them it was a reminder to be good, and that good children were rewarded.

They have a parade that has all kinds of different versions of Krumpasse roaming the streets with switches and chains, then usually St. Nikolas follows them on a white horse to remind them he is there.

Lemme tell you, they were the best behaved children you have ever seen! The parents loved the history of it and only one parent was upset their child was scared that Krumpasse was going to take him away in a sack. But then they were thankful after his naughty behavior was totally curbed (and he was quite the naughty one to begin with).

Lesson learned, get a translator when a sweet little old Austrian lady wants to come “share” with your class.

Lesson NOT learned, I invited her back the following year! he he.

Enjoy the show kids~

*****disclaimer*****

I am not, nor will I claim to be an expert on Austrian cultural history. This is just a (somewhat hazy) recollection of time’s past. Which is another reason I will never be called as an eye-witness for anything!

Sedaris on Stinkerklaas – Funny video about the origins of Christmas and how they celebrate it in the Netherlands.